La Noël de Mademoiselle Maica (The Christmas of Ms. Maica)

I've always envisioned Christmas at our clan's residence in a small town I call 'San Teodoro.'  I always celebrate this occasion attending masses while wearing fab outfits with my family and relatives.  Hence, I can honestly say that there is nothing really new about this Christmas except for another year in our lives and the various changes it brought to us.

How was my Christmas?  Well, here it goes:

I haven't been to San Teodoro until the eve of December 24 because we were cooking and baking Christmas goodies at our house in another town.  My mom, aunt and sister prepared baked macaroni and pizzas while I was facebooking, sleeping and taking care of my mom's business.

We got to the Feraren's residence by 7:30 p.m.  I prepared for the 'Misa de Gallo' and attended the 3-hour mass then .  The mass ended by 11:00p.m. and I was assigned to look after my grandmom who was bedridden until morning.  However, by 12:00 mn, we had our very own Noche Buena.

the Feraren clan's sumptuous feast

Mara and the Noche Buena goodies

Ate Les and Mervyn(aka Libe Jef) giving love on Christmas Day

the Feraren clan with our beloved Mamu(who's on the bed)

For the Ferarens, the Noche Buena is not complete without picture-taking.

Tito Vic, Karsten, Kjell,  Tita Norleen, Tito Joel, Me, Mara, Ate Les, Jam and Jef in front of the Feraren's residence

the Ferarens trying to portray Christ's birth

The real-life 'Belen'

This is me by my Mamu's bedside.  I took care of her until morning so I barely slept on Christmas Day.

We attended the Holy Mass by 9 a.m. on Christmas day.  I was there with my mom, dad, aunts, uncles and cousins.  We were wearing our special outfits for Christmas.

our Grandpa Mike

my cousin Katrina by the coconut tree

my cousin  Jef by the sand

our  pretty cousin Margaux

Ate Shayne and her daughter Meia at Tito Augie's house

my Fashionista cousins Agot and Mik

Mervyn 'the fallen angel'

Katrina as Bella Swan

The pretty Ferarens strike a pose.(lols)

Me and my BOHO outfit

My Christmas does not end there. After a day of pictorials, eating, chitchatting and gift-giving, I went to Calapan with Mara to attend Dr. Nuestro's own version of Christmas party.

me at Doc Nuestro's house

Kuya Budigoy, Mara, Ate Melai, Ate Thelai, Doc, me and Jade at Dr. Nuestro's house

drinking session at Dr. Nuestro's house

This is how Mademoiselle Maica celebrated Christmas.  How about you? 

Joyeux Noel et Bon Annee de Nouvelle Ma Amis...
(Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my friends)

Lovelots, 

Maica Angelle

'Tis the Season to be Jolly

I haven't blogged for ages!  Yes, it is more than a month since I've updated my blog and I've missed my site so much.  Anyway, we'll be celebrating Christmas Eve at the Feraren's residence at San Teodoro, Oriental Mindoro this night. I've always celebrated this occasion with my family but what makes this one special?  Well, this may just be the first time I'll be celebrating Christ's birth as a Registered Nurse.  Also, I have a lot to be thankful for.  I've gained a lot of friends in the hospital, my family's closer than ever, plus, I've met someone really special.  I feel so blessed right now.

What was I doing during my non-blogging weeks anyway?  Well, I completed the nine Simbang Gabi Masses,  enjoyed a couple of Christmas Parties at my beloved Oriental Mindoro Provincial Hospital and went to Manila for shopping, leisure, and my Aunt's Wedding day.

Me and Mara at the  OMPH Overall Christmas Party

We had to wear a 60s- inspired outfit for our Dance Competition at the Christmas Party

Me and my siblings at Star City

at Tita Fede's Wedding

at my cousin's house

Christmas is a season to be jolly.  However, beyond all the chic outfits, the fabulous parties and the glamorous food cocktails, there is one man who saved us all.   He is Jesus Christ.  Let HIM be the real reason for all our Celebrations.  Just remember, There is no CHRISTmas without CHRIST.

Lovelots,

Maica Angelle

Manila, Manila

So I had a rough day at work yesterday, went home, spent the rest of the day in front of the computer, had my devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and was about to sleep when I had visions of a familiar place that used to be my home: Manila.

Music Video embedded from Youtube

Wikipedia.org defines the City of Manila as the capital of the Philippines. It is also one of the 16 cities that make up Metro Manila, one of the most populous metropolitan areas in the world, with a population of 20 million people.

For probinsyanas(someone from the suburbs) like me, Manila can just be the key to our brighter futures.  Why?  Because the most well-respected educational institutions in the country such as the University of the Philippines- Manila, University of Santo Tomas, La Salle Taft, Ateneo de Manila, San Beda College and Centro Escolar University(my mom’s Alma Mater) are all located here.

As for me alone, this place cannot be just an ordinary one because it has been a witness to some of the most significant events in my professional life.  I reviewed for the local boards in one of the nursing review centers in Espana, took my licensure examination at the University of the East, had my oathtaking at the SMX Mall of Asia and took my IELTS exam at the British Council in Manila.

me and Mara with Ralph and Shem, our high school buds at Manila

picture-taking at Trinoma

In every sense of the word, this place made me closer to my dreams and while this place is just a boat ride and a bus ride away from Oriental Mindoro, it takes a lot of effort to be on it. However, despite of all these, I am still feeling a sense of longing for this place.  I miss Manila and everything about it.

I miss waking up in a review day, choosing an outfit to wear for classes, walking the streets of Bustillos, riding jeepneys at Espana, and buying food from 7/11 stores.  I miss Tuesday afternoons at St. Anthony Shrine and the famous Thursday novena masses at the St. Jude Shrine.  I miss Friday DVD marathons with my sister and reviewing.  I miss going to the internet shops and paying 15 pesos just to get a glimpse of Facebook.  I miss Sunday masses at the San Beda Chapel and Sunday movies at theaters.  I miss Starbucks, Pan De Manila, Kamiseta, National Book Store and FullyBooked.  I miss LRT(Light Railway Transit), Divisoria, the DVD stands, Lianas, and Recto.   I miss the sunny mornings, the rainy afternoons and the cold evenings.  I am definitely missing out on M-A-N-I-L-A.

Hence, as I opened my eyes this morning, I saw a small green room, lots of books,and my nursing uniform.  I didn’t hear noises from jeepneys and vendors.  I didn’t see beggars, lots of newspaper stands and shrines.  All I saw was our humble home, my siblings and the familiar television set in the center of our house.  I was breathing the fresh air of Mindoro, hearing noises from the computer that my brother was using  and living the laid back life of a Mindorena.  I am definitely home and Manila is just a dream away.

Lovelots,
Maica Angelle

Marking My Way Through Nursing

                                             Video: I am a Nurse- National Nurses Week by

                                                         Memorial Hermann, via YouTube

I had my first operation when I was nine.  It was performed in the emergency room of a local hospital in our province in front of bystanders, patients, and the rest of the health care team of that institution.  Yeah, I was that popular and so were my ugly warts that were removed.  It was bad ass.

I cannot remember what exactly happened but I had some visions of a small room, lots of people, and a nurse beside me.  (The doctor did not allow me to look at him, the needles and the equipment that burned my warts so I cannot remember those.) I could even hear some people say: “Grabe, ang sakit naman nyan.” Translate: “Ouch, that seems so painful.  

However, I can still remember the stinging sensation that the local anesthesia brought when it was injected onto my warts.  Back then, I could barely feel my legs because those were numb from the anesthetics.  I could also feel the fire coming from the doctor’s equipment burning my skin.  It was so painful but I didn’t cry, scream or made a scene.  I was that brave, huh?  Not really, I just had a nurse beside me who lent her helping hand.  Could I have made it without her?  I do not really think so.  Without her, I could have opted to go home, cry and look at my warts for the rest of my life.  Without her, I could have looked like a bratty little girl who cannot endure a common medical procedure.  Without her, I could have not have made it.

I only had my warts removed that day.  Little did I know that  the memory of that moment will be a significant one in my journey throughout my chosen profession.  It is not exactly comparable to the day Spiderman got bitten by a spider and acquired his super powers or the night Harry Potter discovered that he is a famous wizard.  It’s just the  time when Maica Angelle felt the warmth and care that only a nurse can bring.

Needless to say, the operation left a mark on my life.  Nowadays, the statement 'What are those things in your legs? ' is nothing new to me.  While these scars make my legs ugly, these strengthen my grip on nursing.  Thus, as I make my own mark in the nursing field, I can envision the image of a beautiful nurse holding my hand and giving me the strength to go on.

Anyway, I want to share a nice video clip about nursing.  This video made me laugh, cry and love my profession even more.  It's nice to see some clip reminding me of the reason why I chose this humbling profession after all.

Lovelots,

Maica Angelle

Chasing Nightingale

“I want to take up nursing because my mom inspired me to become one someday.”  This is what the overweight 'probinsyana’ had to say in order to get into a nursing school. Now, five years later, this girl finds herself in a nurse’s uniform- scared, confused and unsure.

Well, I was that girl and my story is nothing new at all.  This tale took years in the making and while it still has not been concluded yet, I want to share a bit of it.

As a kid, my idea of nurses are those underpaid workers injecting vaccines while wearing white uniforms. I didn’t even know that nurses are the doctors’ partners in providing health care services.  So when my mom asked me to take up nursing, I had doubts.  I never doubted that I could make it.  I just didn’t like the idea of bathing patients, wiping out fecal material from other people’s anuses and wearing a white uniform.  I also didn’t like the idea that my mom wanted me to engage in a profession I used to belittle.

Then I found myself reading nursing books, enrolling in a nursing review center and taking the nurse licensure examinations twice.  I was confused and in doubt all the time.  I was trying to fit into the world I didn’t want to be into in the first place.  I was at a crossroads, trying to see the right path, trying to get into a road that will lead me to happiness.  I was lost.

What does it take to become a full-fledge nurse anyway?  Well, it really involves lots and lots of patience.  You have to be humble enough to stomach all the belittling words of ‘wannabe socialista’ patients.  You have to be strong enough in dealing with arrogant doctors.  You also have to have enough perseverance in living the world of professionals who work like unpaid carabaos  in order to gain this so called ‘experience.’

As of now, I am an unemployed registered nurse providing ‘community service’ to my province mates (I am a volunteer nurse is what I meant).  I’ve been applying as a staff nurse at a local hospital nearby without any assurance that I’d get in.  I’ve also been looking for slots for trainings at the Lung and Heart Centers of the country.   In every sense of the word, my career path is still uncertain and so is my life.

I don’t want to lift everything up to God because that would be considered laziness on my part.  I just want to do my best, grab all the opportunities as they come and walk by faith.  Though my life is uncertain, I know that God will be with me.


Lovelots,
Maica Angelle

On Thin Air

Have you ever crossed the line between life and death?  Have you ever taken a deep breath, closed your eyes and felt the cold, ravishing wind against your skin?  It’s like a thin air between the world we know and the one up there. It can either take our own lives or breathe new ones to it.  

Emergency Room- just the thought of it scares me.   It’s a place where death is nothing new, where dying is common.  It’s the human’s link to hope and survival and it’s the nursing area I thought I’d suck at.  Anyway, the only legitimate exposure I had to the ER(Emergency Room) is way back in my student nurses’ life.  It’s not something I can be proud of so the thought of being at it brings back bad memories of my college years I don’t want to remember.

Anyway, stepping onto the Emergency Room the first time scared the hell out of me.  I was this inexperienced nurse trying who trying to work in an unfamiliar place.  I was this lost girl trying to find my way there.  I felt alone and in doubt.  It was a scary experience but I got through with it.

After several rotations at the ER, I can finally say that this area is not as scary as it seems.  Yes I’ve dealt with pregnant women in true labor pains, cute children who are having difficulty breathing, wounded men who almost lost their feet, limbs and lives but  I’ve managed to turn my back on the ER with a smile on my face.  Why?  Because I’ve never thought that the room I’ve been scared at all throughout my nursing life might just be the one I’d like to work at.  At the end of the day, I come to a conclusion that the emergency room might just be an adrenaline-boosting and challenging place closest to home.

Lovelots,
Maica Angelle

Waiting for Ever After

So I have a confession to make.  Here it goes:  At 21, I still had 'No Boyfriend Since Birth'. If you're going to ask me if it's by choice or by chance, I can only say that it's a little bit of both!

I've never been in a relationship my whole life so my idea of romance is still based on Disney fairy tales and Nicholas Sparks novels.  At my age, I'm still waiting for a handsome prince charming who will knock me off my feet, a brave knight in shining armor who will rescue me from social oblivion and a statuesque popular guy who will dare to take a look me.  Maybe my prince who's willing to listen to my cheesiest quotes and most random statements is still resting in his palace.  Maybe he's waiting for me and together, we'll watch the sunset at bay. Maybe, these are just plain maybes. 

Anyway, I came across some wedding magazines this weekend and I'm still at awe about it.  The wedding bliss, all the nostalgia that looking at pictures of beautiful unions have brought me enhanced my longing for my own ever after. 

I don't really know if I'll have my own wedding someday but one thing is for sure: I can patiently wait for my own prince charming.  He does not have to be royalty. He does not have to be handsome, brave or statuesque.  He can always be an ordinary guy who will love the plain and simple me.

Lovelots,
Maica Angelle

Pilipino Ako

Isa na yata sa mga pangarap ko ay ang malibot ang buong mundo.  Tila ba sa litrato ko na lang mapagmamasdan ang magarang 'Statue of Liberty' sa New York, ang 'Eiffel Tower' sa Paris at ang 'Disneyland' sa Los Angeles.  Kaya naman sabi ko noon sa sarili ko, magiging kuntento na ako kapag nakapaglakbay na ako sa ibang bansa.  Matapakan ko man lang ang lupa ng mga banyaga,  lubhang magiging masaya na ako.  Ngunit  nang nabigyan na nga ako ng pagkakataong makapunta sa tatlo sa mga karatig na bansa ng aking mahal na bayan,  napagtanto ko namang  gaano man kaganda ang mga istruktura sa mga lugar na iyon, gaano man kamoderno ang kanilang mga kagamitan, ang angking ganda pa rin ng 'Perlas ng Silangan' ang hinahanap- hanap ko.  

                                            Video: Philippines- Experience the 7107 Islands 

                                                          by bestdestination, via YouTube

Minsan nang may nagsabi sa kin: 'The Philippines USED to be a paradise.'  Nakakalungkot mang isipin, ito ay isa lamang repleksyon ng mga pananaw ng mga banyaga sa estado ngayon ng bansang ipinagmamalaki ko. Marahil nga ay lubhang malaki na ang ipinagbago ng Pilipinas.  Base sa mga nakikita kong litrato, lubha ngang mas malinis at maayos ang bansa noong una.  Mas kagalang-galang tingnan ang mga tao sa suot nilang Baro't Saya at Barong Tagalog.  Pero sa kabila ng lahat ng ito ay minamahal ko pa rin ang bansang ito. Iba pa rin kasi ang paghangang nararanasan ko kapag nakikita ko ang mga kabundukang pinatibay ng panahon at ang mga karagatang nananatiling matatag sa paglipas ng mga taon.  Sa Pilipinas lamang kasi matatagpuan ang perpektong hugis ng Bulkang Mayon, ang nakakatakam na Chocolate Hills at ang mapuputing buhangin ng Boracay. 

Napakaganda nga naman ng Pilipinas.  Hindi lang talaga kaaya-aya ang pamamalakad dito.  Saan man ako mapadpad dito, may mga katiwalian.  Pakalat-kalat lamang ang mga pulis na nangongotong, mga negosyanteng hindi nagbabayad ng buwis,  at mga kabataang nagdodroga at kumikitil ng buhay ng mga sanggol sa kanilang sinapupunan.

Isa man ang bansa sa may pinakamalaking populasyon ng mga Katoliko sa mundo, lumalabag din naman ang karamihan sa mga kautusan ng Diyos.  Ilang lider na rin ang dumaan sa bansang ito.  Ang ilan sa mga nabanggit ay lubhang matatalino, may integridad, maka-Diyos at maka-masa ngunit hindi pa rin sila naging daan upang maging maunlad na ang bansa.  May pag-asa pa ba talaga ang bansang ito?  Hindi kaya tuluyan na tayong malulugmok sa putik ng kasakiman?

Bakit nga ba hindi pa umuunlad ang Pilipinas?  Dahil ba sa korupsyon, sa mga iilang taong sinasarili ang pondo ng bansa o sa lumolobong populasyon ng bansa?  Para sa akin, wala sa mga nabanggit ang dahilan.  Sa totoo lang, tila ba ang mga dugong nananalaytay sa atin ang nagiging hadlang sa inaasam nating kaunlaran.  Para bang palagi na lamang may mga paksyon sa bansa.  Nandyan ang 'Administrasyon laban sa Oposisyon,' ang mga 'Kapuso' at 'Kapamilya,' mayaman at mahirap.  Puro na lamang bangayan, alitan. Kabilang na nga tayo sa 'Political Wars' at 'Network War.'

I

Sa kabila ng mga katiwalian, bulok na sistema, at kasakimang namamayani sa  lipunang ginagalawan  ko ay ikinararangal ko pa rin ang lahi ko. Bakit nga ba? Kasi, kung bibigyan ako ng isa pang buhay, nanaisin ko pa ring maging isang Pilipino.  Mas pipiliin ko pa ring maglakad sa magandang baybayin ng Puerto Galera at Boracay, magsimba sa milagrosong dambana ng Mahal na Nazareno at makilahok sa prusisyon tuwing Mahal na Araw.  Hahanap-hanapin ko pa rin ang adobo, sinigang at laing.  Kasasabikan ko pa ring marinig ang magagandang timbre ng boses nina Regine Velasquez, Charice, Jonalyn Viray at Brenan Espatinez. Makapag suot man ako ng Louis Vuitton, Gucci at Chanel,  iba pa rin talaga ang mga payak na damit na mabibili sa murang halaga sa Divisoria.  Talaga nga namang kahit saan man ako mapadpad, ang dugong Pilipino pa rin ang mananalaytay sa aking pagkatao.

Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang sarili ko sa salamin, napapansin ko ang kayumanggi kong balat, ang pango kong ilong at ang itim kong buhok.  Bakit nga ba hindi na lang ako nagkaroon ng balat ng mga Amerikano, matangos na ilong ng mga Ingles at kakaibang kulay ng buhok ng mga Pranses?  Nang mapunta ako sa ibang lugar, napagtanto ko na ang mga nabanggit ang nagsisilbing pagkakakilanlan ko.  Kahit na kitang-kita ang pagka Pilipino ko, napagkamalan pa rin akong Intsik, Koreana at Malay.  Datapwat sa paglipas ng araw, isa pa rin ang sinasabi ko sa buong mundo: "I am a Filipina."

Nagmamahal,

Maica Angelle

Detour

Change                                                              

Strange as it may seem, this is the most random thing in my world right now. Like the dawn of another era or the beginning of a new year, a new chapter of my life is unfolding. Even the way I start and end my day involves lots of transformation.

Changes can be good or bad. Either way, they are inevitable. Making room for these changes, though, is like taking a detour—there are no ifs and buts, just twists and turns.

Sometimes, some things just don’t last. Some gadgets we’ve gotten used to come and go. In my case, I had to let go of my Samsung SGH-D830 this week. Honestly, I didn’t expect to feel this way when my Samsung phone was taken away from me last Sunday. I guess the four tough years that I spent with this gadget are still incomparable to the hype that newer ones can bring. I really miss my white, slim-fit phone, and it will definitely take some time before I get used to having a new phone in my life.

As I made room for new gadgets in my life, I also had drastic changes in my daily routine. Well, since I had been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid earlier that year, I had stopped dieting. At the time, I simply felt too hopeless to deal with the changes my body was going through.

However, I eventually realized that I couldn’t let my condition stop me from doing the things I loved, like dancing and exercising. Now, my lazy mornings are energized by more intense dance workouts. I’m also moderating my calorie intake. I may still have a lot of weight to lose, but with enough motivation, determination, and the treatment I’m following, I’ll definitely get that slim body, right?

I was dancing my way through the week when I came across a video about the NLE (Nurse Licensure Examination) in the Philippines. According to the video, there was a possibility that board examination results could be switched. The claim was that, for P100,000, people who had failed the board examination could allegedly obtain licenses by claiming the ratings of some successful examinees.

If such practices were happening, the integrity of the Licensure Examination would be put to waste. Why work hard for it when others could allegedly acquire licenses through money anyway?

I greatly condemn people who engage in such acts. They are the ordinary Filipinos who curse the rotten political system in the country today. They are among those who want to put corrupt politicians behind bars while, at the same time, corruption is being committed at their own expense. What a shame!

I’ve entrusted part of my future to this system, and if those involved want to dignify their profession and reputation, they have to stop playing dirty. After all, money can’t buy dignity.

Through it all, I’ve realized that life involves a lot of choices. There are lots of roads to take and lots of bumps along the way. However, it’s comforting to know that no matter how many U-turns or detours we take, God will still be with us along the way.

Lovelots,
Maica Angelle

Photo created with ai using ChatGPT

The Homecoming

Three weeks have already passed since I and my twin sister got here at Mindoro. In the not-so-distant past, we were the 'probinsyanas' trying to fit in to the larger world of Manila. Now, we are the 'balikbayans' finding our way back home. Truly, gone are the days when we were shopping at the most famous malls in the country, walking the streets of the flood-friendly Espana, and reviewing to the max! Our SRG (Sultan Review Group) days are already over. Thus, the self- studying moments for the NCLEX-RN(a.k.a. the Filipino Nurses' key to a brighter future) are finally here!

Reviewing at home is comparable to living life to the utmost. At long last, I can finally watch my fave television shows, workout, bond with my family, and sleep in my beloved room. I am now breathing the fresh air of Oriental Mindoro. I am definitely more at ease!

The comfort of staying at home practically has its own drawbacks. Nowadays, reviewing is more of a challenge for me. The unlimited internet connection and the cable access are practically some of the distractions that are invading parts of the time I usually alot for studying. On the other hand, realizing the amount of weight that I gained has taken its toll on my life. Hence, I now have to make way for dieting and exercising into my routines. There are times when I feel to lazy to grab my books and take a look at the mind- boggling questionnaires. However, I also know that all I need are three reasons to keep on going:

1. my family
2. the people who need me
3. God

Inasmuch as this review experience is already driving me crazy, (FYI, I have been reviewing for almost a year now) I also know that the knowledge and wisdom that I've gained throughout this experience are priceless.

Nursing is indeed a very noble profession. In fact, Filipino Nurses are currently rendering their services to some of the hospital institutions in the country for free just to acquire the most coveted skills. Some call this 'volunteerism' stupid. Additionally, the nurses in the country can also be considered as the modern-day maids. The only difference is that maids are provided with food, clothing and shelters while nurses are trying to 'budget' the alms they receive for the necessities of everyday living. Yet, this profession is among the most rewarding ones. Nurses are God's angels for the sick people, those who are always there to lend a helping hand to those in pain.

In a couple of months from now, I'll be taking one of the toughest exams in my life: the NCLEX-RN. I'm already working really hard for the right to become a 'USRN.' This challenge is not easy but if have God and my faith with me, I'll definitely get there.

Lovelots,
Maica Angelle

In a Nurse's Shoes

There are certain moments in our lives that are worth reminiscing. Those may be graduation, winning the lottery or simply watching our favorite television shows. Well, as for me, lots of memories may go unnoticed but one has definitely made its mark on my heart.
It was the eve of January 30, 2010. I was sleeping with my twin sister when I received the text that changed my life: 'Congrats. Pasado kayong dalawa pati si Katrina.' The message came from my aunt. It was 11:30 in the evening.
It took some time before I realized what the message meant. During that moment, the Philippine Regulatory Commission declared me and my twin sister as registered nurses in the country. What a 'Maalaala Mo Kaya' moment indeed!
I slept teary- eyed that night. I felt so blessed because God has finally answered my prayers. It was definitely the beginning of a new chapter in my life. My dreams were finally coming true.
But what happens when you are already living the dream? --- You either aim higher or feel unhappy. First of all, being a nurse is not my childhood dream at all. Believe me, there may be hundreds of thousands of Filipino Nursing Degree Holders out there who want to be in my shoes but I'm still silently hoping that I didn't opt for the nurse's shoes instead.
I wake up everyday wondering what things might have been if I had it my way. Yes, there is still this long road ahead of me but will my shoes make it?